I think I’m finally winding down from this sickness thing. I think it was sinusitis, or “sinus infection”.
I have been updating a lot on the present, and haven’t spoken too much about the past. So, tonight since I don’t have anything all ADD to talk about, and I’m not ready for bed, I’m going to go ahead and talk about the past. How about my diagnosis?
So, diagnosing ADHD is clearly quite a sketchy process. There isn’t a true test. You can’t draw someone’s blood or give them a brain scan to determine if they have it or not. Basically, you have to look at the individual’s behavior patterns and history.
For me, there was only one person besides my referrer who implied there might be more to my misery. It was my world history teacher, freshman year of high school. I was in tears during a test. I had studied my butt off for that test, and yet, I couldn’t remember a darn thing I had studied. Now, some may argue poor study habits. I guess you can argue that. But it doesn’t explain how someone else who studies with me, the exact same way can remember, and I can’t.
Well, this teacher asked if I had ever been evaluated for a learning disability. I told him I hadn’t and that was the end of it. I was probably a conundrum for my teachers. I wasn’t a bad student. I appeared to be paying attention (well when I wasn’t drifting off), I wasn’t stupid. I didn’t have behavior problems. I wasn’t male. I didn’t fit into the ADHD box. And I didn’t fit in the learning disability box either because I wasn’t delayed. But something wasn’t right, either. But since I couldn’t be given a label, and I wasn’t bothering anyone, I guess nobody tried helping.
Years down the road. I graduate high school. I test out college. I join the military. I get married. I have a baby. My husband. The first person to truly, truly know me senses something is up. He grows increasingly frustrated with my social ineptness, my inability to remember simple things, my inability to complete a task, to stay focused. He encouraged me to go seek help. So I did. But to be honest, I didn’t feel comfortable with my therapist. We weren’t a good match. So when she released me to have my baby, I didn’t go back.
It was my second therapist, Colette, who I saw for marriage problems, who picked it up. We talked about my marriage, and of course we delved into my family and history. And she asked if I had been evaluated for ADHD. My split-second response was “No… I’m not hyperactive.”
She explained to me how you don’t have to be hyperactive, and that’s why so many people–especially girls–go undiagnosed. They don’t cause a problem, they just sometimes are solitary individuals who are seen as “weird.” But they aren’t bothering anyone, so nobody notices.
It’s pretty sad actually, when you give it a thought.
So she referred me. She said I ticked off so many boxes for her, inasmuch as she knew about ADHD. Which she seemed quite knowledgable about. She really was a knowledgable woman. And it was reassuring to me in some way because, I knew nothing about ADHD. It wasn’t a self-diagnosis. I didn’t see it coming. But you bet I looked it up when she said it. And oh my God… I saw myself in so many expert’s descriptions. It was Earth moving for me.
Well, that’s my story of my referral. A little background for you. I’ll talk about the actual test I received tomorrow. Have a good night!
